Teacher's Summary
This writing sample has a captivating premise and interesting details, but it would benefit from careful attention to grammar, punctuation, and spelling. With some revisions, your ideas can shine even brighter!
Your Writing with highlights
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The boys found them themselves in a room as big as their cottage all around were odd shaped objects. Janner went too the closest one. It had dust all over it and then Janner sneezed and the dust went up into a cloud and Janner saw the object it was an axe their grandpa returned from town borrowed woodcutting axe but Janner had never seen a battel axe before. Tink stood beside him with his mouth hanging open what is it? Tink asked in a quiet voice Janner didn't respond. Tink walked over to another one and looked at it it was a sword Janner found another sword and looking around saw piles on piles of swords and axes.
Issues Summary
"them themselves"
→ Suggestion: themselves
The phrase 'them themselves' is redundant; 'themselves' alone is sufficient to convey the meaning.
"too the closest one"
→ Suggestion: to the closest one
The word 'too' is a common spelling error here; it should be 'to' which indicates direction.
"battel axe"
→ Suggestion: battle axe
The term 'battal axe' is misspelled; the correct spelling is 'battle axe'.
"what is it?"
→ Suggestion: what is it?
This question should be followed by a comma before the dialogue tag to separate the spoken words from the attribution.
"looked at it it was a sword"
→ Suggestion: looked at it. It was a sword
There should be a period between 'it' and 'it was a sword' to separate the two independent clauses.
"piles on piles"
→ Suggestion: piles upon piles
'Piles on piles' is awkward; 'piles upon piles' is a more common phrase that conveys the intended meaning more clearly.
Error Breakdown
✏️ Your Rewrite
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