Teacher's Summary
This writing sample presents a clear narrative with engaging content. With a few grammatical adjustments and attention to syntax, it can become even more polished and effective in conveying the author's ideas.
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The author said that he was in his office at home and he was writing. His kids were playing tackle football in the four foot wide hallway thumping and making a ton of noise. Then he heard his son David pounding on the bathroom door and yelling. The author came out and yelled at David to go to his room, so David went. The author said that he learned a couple of minutes later that David's brother was lying on the floor with his mouth bleeding, and David was yelling for his sister to let him get something to help his brother. The author realized that, when he said sorry to David, he can't change what he got into by behaving with his words. Just like what he said to the man at the conference.
The author said that the key to successful managing was making it very clear what you want your workers to do. Being unclear can lead to argument, quitting, and making people not like you.
The author said that his friend had a son. The author's friend was saving and planning his sons whole childhood to send him to a certain school. He really wanted to his son to go to the school. When the son was old enough, he said that he did not want to go to that school. The friend and his wife decide to not argue and let him decide. The son decided that he did want to go to that school because the father didn't pressure him.
The third habit was about putting first things first. This means when writing out your planner, put the things you need to do first, first.
Issues Summary
"four foot wide"
→ Suggestion: four-foot-wide
When using compound adjectives before a noun, such as 'four-foot-wide,' hyphens should be used to clarify that the words work together as a single descriptor.
"his sons whole childhood"
→ Suggestion: his son's whole childhood
The possessive form 'son's' is needed here to indicate that the childhood belongs to his son.
"to his son to go"
→ Suggestion: for his son to go
The preposition 'for' is more appropriate in this context to indicate the intention regarding his son going to the school.
"decide to not argue"
→ Suggestion: decided not to argue
The past tense 'decided' should be used here to maintain consistency in the narrative's timeframe.
Error Breakdown
✏️ Your Rewrite
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