Teacher's Summary
This writing sample presents interesting ideas and examples, but it could benefit from careful attention to grammar and syntax. With some revisions, particularly in verb tense and pronoun usage, your message will be clearer and more impactful.
Your Writing with highlights
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A drop of honey will catch more flies than a gallon of gall is what Abraham Lincoln says about convincing someone to do something for you. If you start out sweet and kind of sucking up to the person they are going to grant what you want. Some examples he gives are about his landlord, he want his rent to go down but he hears the landlords kind of hard to talk to so he invited him over and sweet talked about how nice the house was and after a while told he would like to stay but he couldn't afford the rent. Another proven way to get people to say yes is to have them answer somewhat random obvious question at the start of the conversation.
Issues Summary
"the landlords kind of hard"
→ Suggestion: the landlord's kind of hard
This error involves a possessive form; 'landlords' should be 'landlord's' to indicate that the difficulty belongs to one landlord.
"he want his rent to go down"
→ Suggestion: he wanted his rent to go down
The verb 'want' should be in the past tense 'wanted' to maintain consistency with the past narrative.
"told he would like to stay"
→ Suggestion: told him he would like to stay
The pronoun 'he' should be 'him' to correctly reflect the object of the verb 'told.'
"answer somewhat random obvious question"
→ Suggestion: answer somewhat random, obvious questions
The phrase should include a comma for clarity and 'questions' should be plural to match the context.
Error Breakdown
✏️ Your Rewrite
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