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Teacher's Summary

This writing sample demonstrates a good understanding of the concepts being discussed, particularly the idea of synergy. With some attention to grammar and syntax, the clarity and flow of your ideas can be greatly improved. Keep up the good work!

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The author said that once two completely different college students decided to work together. They together created something they called back rub. What they created gave them the ability to look at websites that where made by other websites or something like that. Now what they created is called Google. But the point is that they were two completely different people and it was hard for them to get along, but they synergized.
A father always wanted to go to take his kids to the park on Saturdays, but the mother wanted to clean the house. They decided to synergize and they would take the kids to the park before it got hot in the morning, and then they would clean the house later when it was hot.
The author gave an example of someone walking into a woods, and a man was cutting down a tree. The man said that he had been out there cutting for five hours. The person who walked into the woods said maybe he needed to sharpen his saw. The man cutting down the tree said that he was too busy cutting to do that.
The sixth habit was synergizing. Synergizing is opening your mind and your heart to different and new possibilities.

Issues Summary

Grammar "that where made by other websites"

→ Suggestion: that were made by other websites

The word 'where' is incorrect in this context; it should be 'were' to indicate the past tense of 'to be'.

Syntax "to go to take his kids to the park"

→ Suggestion: to take his kids to the park

The phrase 'to go to take' is awkward and redundant; simplifying it to 'to take' makes the sentence clearer.

Punctuation "the mother wanted to clean the house."

→ Suggestion: the mother wanted to clean the house; however,

Using a semicolon and 'however' improves the flow and connection between the two contrasting ideas.

Grammar "the author gave an example of someone walking into a woods"

→ Suggestion: the author gave an example of someone walking into the woods

The article 'a' should be replaced with 'the' because 'woods' is a specific place in this context.

Error Breakdown

Grammar 2
Punctuation 1
Syntax 1

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The author said that once two completely different college students decided to work together. They together created something they called back rub. What they created gave them the ability to look at websites that were made by other websites or something like that. Now what they created is called Google. But the point is that they were two completely different people and it was hard for them to get along, but they synergized. A father always wanted to take his kids to the park on Saturdays, but the mother wanted to clean the house; however they decided to synergize and they would take the kids to the park before it got hot in the morning, and then they would clean the house later when it was hot. The author gave an example of someone walking into a woods, and a man was cutting down a tree. The man said that he had been out there cutting for five hours. The person who walked into a woods said maybe he needed to sharpen his saw. The man cutting down the tree said that he was too busy cutting to do that. The sixth habit was synergizing. Synergizing is opening your mind and your heart to different and new possibilities.
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