Teacher's Summary
This writing sample presents insightful ideas about improvement and motivation. With some attention to punctuation and grammar, your arguments will be even clearer and more impactful. Keep up the good work!
Your Writing with highlights
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If you want to improve somebody the worst way is to criticize them first but to start by criticizing yourself and praising them so that they feel that they can improve to the standards which other people see them. For dogs, the trainers give treats to even the smallest improvement, and they become addicted to improvement. With humans if you don't devalue someone but value them then they can improve but if you think that because they failed this thing they have no value then that's what they think about themselves and they have no interest in improving.
Issues Summary
"the worst way is to criticize them first but to start by criticizing yourself and praising them"
→ Suggestion: the worst way is to criticize them first, but to start by criticizing yourself and praising them
A comma is needed before 'but' to separate the two independent clauses for clearer reading.
"which other people see them"
→ Suggestion: which other people see in them
The phrase should include 'in' to correctly convey that others see certain qualities within the person.
"With humans if you don't devalue someone but value them then they can improve"
→ Suggestion: With humans, if you don't devalue someone but value them, then they can improve
Commas are needed after 'humans' and 'them' to properly separate the clauses and improve readability.
"but if you think that because they failed this thing they have no value then that's what they think about themselves"
→ Suggestion: but if you think that because they failed this thing, they have no value, then that's what they think about themselves
Commas are necessary to separate the clauses, making the sentence clearer and easier to follow.
Error Breakdown
✏️ Your Rewrite
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