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Teacher's Summary

This writing sample presents a clear narrative with a good flow of ideas. With a few grammatical and syntactical adjustments, it can become even more polished and engaging.

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Ben-Hur
The three men who where mentioned in the beginning came to Bethlehem to see the baby. They come to one of Herod's soldiers and ask him where the Christ, the king of Israel is born. The soldier tells them that there is no new king and that Herod is not king by blood.

Issues Summary

Grammar "who where mentioned"

Suggestion: who were mentioned

The word 'where' is incorrectly used; it should be 'were' to indicate the past tense of 'to be'.

Syntax "is born"

Suggestion: was born

The phrase should be in the past tense to match the context of the narrative, so 'is born' should be changed to 'was born'.

Error Breakdown

Grammar 1
Syntax 1

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Ben-Hur The three men who were mentioned in the beginning came to Bethlehem to see the baby. They come to one of Herod's soldiers and ask him where the Christ, the king of Israel was born. The soldier tells them that there is no new king and that Herod is not king by blood.