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Teacher's Summary

This writing sample effectively conveys a narrative about faith and healing. With a few minor adjustments to grammar and punctuation, the clarity and flow of the story can be enhanced even further.

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Judah talked about how he saw Jesus turn water into wine, heal lepers, heal the blind, and do other miracles. His old servant heard that and ran to tell Judah's mother and sister. They think that if they can find Jesus he can heal them of their leprosy. They went to a road that he was on and waited 3 hours for him to come. Jesus came and they asked him to heal them. Jesus asked if they believed if he could heal them. When they said yes he healed them.

Issues Summary

Grammar "if they believed if he could heal them"

Suggestion: if they believed that he could heal them

The phrase 'if they believed if' is incorrect because it uses 'if' twice. Instead, use 'that' to clarify the conditional statement.

Punctuation "When they said yes he healed them."

Suggestion: When they said yes, he healed them.

A comma is needed after 'yes' to separate the clauses and improve the readability of the sentence.

Error Breakdown

Grammar 1
Punctuation 1

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Judah talked about how he saw Jesus turn water into wine, heal lepers, heal the blind, and do other miracles. His old servant heard that and ran to tell Judah's mother and sister. They think that if they can find Jesus he can heal them of their leprosy. They went to a road that he was on and waited 3 hours for him to come. Jesus came and they asked him to heal them. Jesus asked if they believed that he could heal them. When they said yes, he healed them.