Teacher's Summary
This writing sample presents a clear narrative with interesting ideas about interpersonal relationships. With some attention to grammar and syntax, your writing can become even more polished and engaging. Keep up the good work!
Your Writing with highlights
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The author talks about how when he was a salesman he always was nice the the people at this one store. One day the owner of the store didn't give him anything, and he came back later and the owner gave him twice and order. The owner said that his employees told him that he was the one who was nice to him.
The author said that he went to a party and this lady said she heard about him and wanted to know about his travels. She said that she had been to Africa. The author asked her about Africa and she told him about it the entire time and he didn't have to tell her about his travels at all.
The author talks about a man who always acted grumpy. One day when he was leaving to his business he decided to act happy. He smiled and said, "good morning," to his wife. He smiled to everyone. He realized that it changed everything.
The three chapters were about being interested in other people, smiling and acting pleasant, and remembering a persons name. He said that whenever someone told him there birthday he would write it down when they were not looking. This made them very pleasantly surprised.
Issues Summary
"the the people"
→ Suggestion: the people
There is a repetition of the word 'the.' Make sure to proofread your work to catch such typos.
"twice and order"
→ Suggestion: twice as much of an order
The phrase 'twice and order' is unclear. It should be rephrased to clarify that he received double the order.
"a persons name"
→ Suggestion: a person's name
The possessive form 'person's' requires an apostrophe to indicate ownership.
"there birthday"
→ Suggestion: their birthday
The correct word is 'their,' which indicates possession. 'There' refers to a place.
Error Breakdown
✏️ Your Rewrite
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