Teacher's Summary
This writing sample presents a clear narrative with interesting scenarios. With a few grammatical adjustments and attention to syntax, your writing can become even more polished and engaging. Keep up the good work!
Your Writing with highlights
Hover over highlighted text to see feedback and suggestions.
The author was telling this story about a man who wanted his apartment rent to go down. The people around him told him not to bother because the landlord is a stubborn man. The guy had the landlord come over and when he came, the man started by saying how nice the apartment was and talked to the landlord about the landlords vacation. The man found the right time to say that he would love to stay there but he could not afford it. And without even him asking, the landlord offered to lower the price.
The author was talking about how he would walk with his dog down the road. One time a police officer stopped him and said that he cant walk the dog without the leash. The author said ok and walked the dog with a leash for a while but got tired of it. When he was walking the dog without a leash again he saw the police officer and admitted that he should have a leash on the dog and that what he was doing was wrong. The police officer told him that it was fine and that the dog would most likely be fine without any leash or muzzle.
The author talked about how when he was at work he made a mistake and his boss chewed him out for it. The next time he made a mistake he went to the boss and told him that he had made the mistake, but the boss said it was someone else's fault. The boss blamed two other employees before he agreed it was the author's fault.
The chapters were about getting other people to say yes and agree with you, seeing when you wrong and admitting it right away and enthusiastically, and letting the other person do most of the talking.
Issues Summary
"the landlords vacation"
→ Suggestion: the landlord's vacation
This error involves the use of possessive form. 'Landlord's' indicates that the vacation belongs to the landlord.
"he cant walk the dog"
→ Suggestion: he can't walk the dog
The contraction 'can't' is necessary here to indicate 'cannot.' Using the contraction makes the sentence clearer and more grammatically correct.
"that what he was doing was wrong"
→ Suggestion: that what he was doing was wrong was
The sentence structure is awkward; rephrasing it improves clarity. The correct structure should maintain the flow of the sentence.
Error Breakdown
✏️ Your Rewrite
Apply the feedback above and submit your revised version.